Welsh speakers needed to proofread text of new CPDL edition

CPDL topics that don't fit in the other categories
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bompstable
Posts: 2
Joined: 01 Sep 2024 10:29

Welsh speakers needed to proofread text of new CPDL edition

Post by bompstable »

I am preparing new editions of the Holst "12 Welsh Folk Songs". It is my intention to create separate Welsh and English versions and to include the full Welsh text at the end of the English version.

I have taken the Welsh text from the Curwen editions (https://imslp.org/wiki/12_Welsh_Folk_So ... t,_Gustav)) which are out of copyright in the US and some other countries. I am not a Welsh speaker, so am unable to verify that there are no typos in these originals. Could someone help with this, please?

Here is the text I am currently using for Lisa Lân:
Bûm yn dy garu lawer gwaith
Mewn llawer modd a mwynder maith;
Bûm yn dy gusanu do, Lisa gêl,
Yr oedd dy gwmni’n well na’r mêl.

Fy nghalon lân, fy nghowlad glyd,
Tydi yw’r lana’ sy’n y byd;
Tydi sy’n peri poen a chri,
A thi sy’n dwyn fy mywyd i.

Pan fyddwy’n rhodio gyda’r dydd,
Fy nghalon fach a aiff yn brudd,
Wrth glywed sŵn yr adar mân
Daw hiraeth dwys am Lisa lân.

Pan fyddwy’n rhodio yn yr ardd
Ymysg yr holl flo deuau hardd;
Wrth dorri o’r mwyn friallu mân
Daw hiraeth dwys am Lisa lân.

Pan fyddwy’n rhodio gyda’r hwyr
Fy nghalon fach a dôdd fel cŵyr.
Wrth glywed sŵn y tannau mân,
Daw hiraeth dwys am Lisa lân.

O Lisa, ddoi di i’m danfon i
A rhoi fy nghorff mewn daear ddu?
Gobeithio doi di, fy annwyl ffrind,
Hyd lan y bedd lle’r wyf yn mynd.
I am also working on My Sweetheart’s Like Venus, with this text:
Mae nghariad i’n Fenws,
mae ’nghariad i’n fain,
Mae ’nghariad i’n dlysach
na blodau y drain.
Fy ’nhariad yw’r lana’,
a’r wynna’n y sîr,
Nid canmol yr ydwyf, ond dwedyd y gwir.

Wych eneth fach annwyl
sy’n lodes mor lân,
Ei gwyneb yn wridog
a’i dannedd mân, mân.
A’i dau lygaid gleision
ai dwy ael fel gwawn,
Fy nghalon a’i carai,
pe gwyddwn y cawn!

Mae ’nghariad i’n caru
fel cawod o wlaw,
Weithiau ffordd yma,
ac withiau ffordd draw,
Ond cariad pur ffyddlon
ni chariff ond un,
Y sawl a gâr lawer,
gaiff fod heb yr un.
In both cases, I've taken the text from the original underlays and have removed the hyphenation in order to create the full text for the English versions. I'm not convinced the original hyphenation is always correct, so I may have ended up with some incorrect whole words as a result.

Thanks in advance!
choralia
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Re: Welsh speakers needed to proofread text of new CPDL edition

Post by choralia »

I've submitted the text to ChatGPT for proofreading. For the first text, this is ChatGPT's reply:
The text you provided is a beautiful and lyrical piece in Welsh. I have reviewed it, and it appears to be correct in terms of grammar, syntax, and spelling. There are no issues that need correction. The poetic flow and language usage are consistent with traditional Welsh poetry.

If this is an original composition or a translation, it's well done! If you have any specific concerns or questions about certain parts, feel free to ask.
While this is the reply for the second text:
The text you've provided is a lovely piece of Welsh poetry, and it reads very well. I've made a couple of minor corrections for consistency and clarity:

---

**Corrected Version:**

Mae ’nghariad i’n Fenws,
mae ’nghariad i’n fain,
Mae ’nghariad i’n dlysach
na blodau’r drain.
Fy ’nghariad yw’r lanaf,
a’r wynna’n y sêr,
Nid canmol yr ydwyf, ond dwedyd y gwir.

Wych eneth fach annwyl
sy’n lodes mor lân,
Ei gwyneb yn wridog
a’i dannedd mân, mân.
A’i dau lygaid gleision
a’i dwy ael fel gwawn,
Fy nghalon a’i carai,
pe gwyddwn y cawn!

Mae ’nghariad i’n caru
fel cawod o wlaw,
Weithiau ffordd yma,
ac weithiau ffordd draw,
Ond cariad pur ffyddlon
ni chariff ond un,
Y sawl a gâr lawer,
gaiff fod heb yr un.

---

### Explanation of Corrections:
1. **"blodau'r drain"**: The phrase "blodau’r drain" includes the definite article "’r" for "y drain" (the thorns), which is more grammatically correct in this context.
2. **"lanaf" and "wynna’n y sêr"**: These corrections ensure grammatical consistency. "Lanaf" means "the purest" or "fairest," and "sêr" is the correct word for "stars."
3. **"a’i dwy ael"**: The "a’i" in the phrase "a’i dwy ael" aligns better with the rest of the line and keeps the form consistent with Welsh possessive structures.

Your text is otherwise well-written and captures the poetic essence beautifully.
ChaGPT is never 100% correct, and definitely it cannot take into consideration possible adjustments related to the need to adapt the text to the rhythm of music (e.g., to place stressed syllables on the beat, etc.), anyway this may be a reasonable starting point, at least until a true native Welsh speaker shows up here!

Max
bompstable
Posts: 2
Joined: 01 Sep 2024 10:29

Re: Welsh speakers needed to proofread text of new CPDL edition

Post by bompstable »

Thanks, I hadn't considered using ChatGPT for this.
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